5/11/2008

  Seymour Under Fire

JERSEY CITY, NJ - A national zoological organization has filed a grievance with Minor League Baseball and the Jersey City Snakes over what it called "the utterly insulting use of a comical snake as the team mascot." 

Director of the American Herptelogical Association Ann Rossington voiced her displeasure with Seymour Snake, "The mascot has a rattlesnake form, but it's obvious to anyone that it has coral snake markings. That's just degrading."

Ms. Rossington was even more incensed by the on-field portrayal of Seymour, who entertains the crowds during home games at Hertz Field. "He has arms and legs! That's not a snake, that's a lizard. If you want to call the team the Lizards, then fine."

Scotty Beauchamp, who wears the Seymour outfit, asked, "If the costume's got no arms or legs, how am I supposed to stand up? How am I supposed to do the Seymour Shuffle?" Ms.. Rossington responded icily, "Snakes don't dance."

Ms. Rossington's group has called for a boycott of all Snakes games until the matter is resolved.